What Is the Most Common Dog Training Mistake?
- Cindy Benson
- Jul 31
- 12 min read
Updated: Jul 31
The single most detrimental assumption that people make about dogs is that they know what a dog is thinking or feeling.
It isn't possible to actually, for sure, know what a dog is feeling. Assumptions are made based on the body language of the dog, and possibly the environmental circumstance; this absolutely pulls from the person's learned history with dogs and other animals. One of these other animals is humans.
Making assumptions about how people feel can be based on more information than can be provided by dogs because it is possible to ask the person how they feel - spoken language becomes valuable in this circumstance, but even so, an assumption is still a guess.
With most owners of dogs, there is a strong tendency to anthropomorphize, which means to attribute human characteristics or behavior to an animal, and I get it. So, where is the danger in this and why do I feel SO strongly about it?
I think it is unethical to make training decisions based on a guess, rather than interacting with dogs based on facts. They need this from us; remember that making mistakes with dogs can cost them their lives. I have seen this happen so many times, particularly recently, that it sits squarely in my way in my efforts to continue to reach out to protect dogs through working with their owners. Even experiencing this vicariously comes at a huge emotional cost to me, and it is cumulative. I have this fantasy vision of myself standing on a rooftop and screaming this one truth: You cannot know what your dog is thinking!
There, I have screamed, and now let's talk about what is true and how we can fully advocate for our dogs: Learn to interpret the meaning of the body language cues dogs give us. They are masters at communication, and if we learn to interpret what dogs are showing us through their subtle body language, there is a chance that they will not feel the need to shout at us, progressing from tail tucked to growling or biting, for instance. This is an important part of keeping both dogs and their humans safe.
Dogs don't fall from the sky - we bring them home on purpose, and in doing so, we are obligated to learn to help them live their one best life; this isn't extra, it is owed.
The Good News - and It Really Is
"I've Always Been Good With Dogs"
Ah, not so, not true. Your learned experiences, possibly beginning even when you were a baby, are the basis for "being good with dogs". It is possible to be born with aptitudes for things like keen observation or an easy grasp of social skills, but being good with dogs is a learned skill.
Wanna know what is great about that? Anyone can learn to be great with dogs if they are willing to change their own behavior or the environment the dog is in when a dog shows them that is needed, based on what they have learned to understand of canine social skills. Knowing how to interpret canine body language will be a lifetime pursuit for me because the more I know, the more I am reminded that I don't know much. I'm good with that! I'm on it! Learning from dogs is part of what feeds my soul, so the quest for knowledge continues.
To become a better trainer/advocate for your dog, learn to see your dog as tiny pieces of behavior (movement) rather than as a summary, such as "happy" is. In the video below, I am making the point that behavior is movement, not emotions, and as such can be measured and quantified. What this means is that if I can see it, so can you, without any history with the dogs.
Here's the back story:
These three-year-old dogs were born on my ranch and went to their new home (three siblings) when they were eight months old. The then-owner contacted me almost two years later to report that the female continued to chase lambs this year, too, and that she was done with it: No problem at all, and I brought her home. It then became clear that the female had suffered chronic pain due to long-term neglect and abuse. So, I hired an attorney to enforce the terms of my sales contract for the three dogs; $6000 later, I brought the remaining two males home as well. The pair you see here had been back with me for about a week, so I was interacting with them mindfully. I could feel and see their subtle shifts of behavior as they interacted with me, but did not point them out in this video because it is used very early in my course.
But now, my friends, let's take a deeper dive. One of the graduates of my course, Ellie, has gone on with her education in powerful places and has become very accomplished at not only seeing the subtleties of behavior, but also knowing how to chart it as was needed in one of her courses. She is far better at this than I am; I call her "Ellie the Incredible". I reached out to her for her evaluation of what isn't "happy" in this video. Please watch the video carefully, maybe several times, and maybe in slow motion or start and stop. Then, take a look at what Ellie had to say below.
In Ellie's words:
I generally do not assign emotion to dogs simply because I have no way of knowing what they are feeling. Some researchers have access to MRIs and hormone tests, which can reveal more of what’s going on inside the dog, but even that cannot reveal how the dog’s mind interprets those states. Therefore, I cannot tell if the dogs in the video are happy, sad, frustrated, etc., but I can see patterns of behavior that can fit a physiological state.
To me, these dogs are primarily maintaining a high level of stress, specifically anxiety, as defined by:
faster movements,
loss of fine motor skills (bigger, less controlled movements),
higher respiratory and heart rate,
increased panting,
Moving into Cindy's space in such a way that she moves away to create space or uses her body and arms to block the dog or push the dog away,
initiating touch in an overly strong way (rough pawing, mouthing, etc.)
In the video, I also see two dogs using their bodies to express a need for touch, which, when received, shows a visible decrease in their stress/anxious behaviors. Their bodies momentarily relax, breathing slows, and their movements slow down. The anxious behaviors increase when the touch stops.
The fact that the dogs’ states of arousal, anxiety, and stress are maintained even after receiving touch would not lead me to define these dogs as “happy”.
Do they like being touched by Cindy? I think that their continued requests for touch, as well as the decreased anxious behavior while being touched would lead me to say they do; otherwise, they would choose to stop their interactions with Cindy. However, their overall level of anxiety is high enough that the dogs are unable to remain at a lower level of arousal, even after receiving the requested touch. This alone would lead me to be cautious about labeling these dogs as “happy”.
To practice, I’ve timestamped the spots in the video where Cindy moves her body away in response to the dogs entering her personal space; where Cindy blocks, and/or pushes the dogs to create space; the dogs paw at or mouth Cindy; and where the dogs show an increase (higher arousal/anxiety) or decrease (lower arousal/anxiety) in movement speed.
Dog 1: Dog who begins video closest to the camera.
0:01 – 0:10 Dog 1 and Dog 2 have their heads in Cindy’s lap. Both dogs show quick head and body movements. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
0:11 – 0:23 Dog 1 shows an increase in arousal with faster body movements and jumps up onto Cindy’s lap, entering her personal space. Cindy leans back.
Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
0:24 – 0:34 Dog 1 shows a decrease in arousal with slower body movements and a relaxed body as Cindy gives touch. Cindy leans forward as Dog 1 relaxes and movements slow. Lower arousal/ less anxiety
0:35 – 0:42 Cindy pushes Dog 1 off of her lap. Dog 1 resists physically and begins faster movements as it tries to remain in her personal space. Cindy scoots back. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
0:43 – 1:04 Cindy resumes touch. Dog 1 shows a reduction in arousal as the body relaxes and movements slow, body stills. Dog 2 is under Dog 1, smelling Cindy’s leg. Lower arousal/ less anxiety
1:05 – 1:10 Cindy stops touching Dog 1 to touch Dog 2. Dog 1’s movement speed increases, and the body tenses. Dog 1 moves further into Cindy’s space as Cindy leans back and blocks Dog 1 with her left arm and shoulder. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
1:11 – 1:19 Dog 2 moves to be closer to the camera. Dog 1 changes focus to Dog 2, but remains close to Cindy and paws her. Cindy leans away.
1:20 - 1:28 Dog 1 decreases in movement speed as the body relaxes in response to touch. Cindy leans in. Cindy ceases touch. Lower arousal/ less anxiety
1:29 – 1:34 Dog 1 increases movement speed, moves into Cindy’s space, and paws her chest and neck several times. Cindy leans back. Cindy holds the paw and moves it away from her. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
1:35 – 1:39 Dog 1 decreases movement speed, body stills, and relaxes. Cindy leans into the dog. Lower arousal/ less anxiety
1:40 – 1:46 Cindy leans away from Dog 1 and ceases touch. Dog 1 moves away from Cindy, but returns to smell her knees. Both Dog 1 and Dog 2 have their heads on Cindy’s lap. Both show increased movement speed. Cindy briefly touches both dogs, then stops. Dog 2 moves with quick movements to position on the other side of Dog 1. Cindy resumes touching both dogs. Both dogs show increased arousal with their fast head movements and slight mouthing of Cindy’s hands. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
1:47 – 1:55 Cindy stops touching both dogs.
1:56 – 2:07 Cindy touches Dog 2. Dog 2 shows decreased movement speed and a more relaxed body. Dog 1 paws Cindy. Cindy holds Dog 1’s paw. Lower arousal/ less anxiety
2:08 – 2:17 Cindy touches both dogs. Both dogs show decreased movements and relaxed bodies in response to touch. Lower arousal/ less anxiety
2:18 – 2:20 Cindy stops touching both dogs. Both dogs show increased movements and faster mouthing behaviors. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
2:21 – 2:35 Dog 1 walks away from Cindy. Dog 2 mouths Cindy’s hands. When Cindy will not touch Dog 2, Dog 2 increases movement speed and paws at Cindy and resumes mouthing her hands. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
2:36 – 2:50 Dog 1 returns and moves into Cindy’s space as Dog 2 paws at Cindy. As Cindy does not touch either dog, both dogs start pawing at her. Both dogs’ movement speed increases, with faster head movements and body movements to get closer to Cindy. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
2:51 – 2:54 Dog 1 receives touch from Cindy, the body relaxes, and movements slow.
2:55 – 2:58 Dog 2 smells Dog 1. Dog 2 quickly moves towards Cindy’s left side as Cindy pauses touching Dog 1. Dog 1 moves up and into Cindy’s space with fast movements. Clip ends. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
Cindy's Training Tip: After I finished this video, I went outside for a walk with the two dogs. Moving their feet helped them slow their brains a bit and lowered their anxiety.
Back to Me
Wow, what a lot of work, and thank you, Ellie. Does all this detail really matter? Well, that depends on what your goals are with your dogs. It matters to me, and because I have learned to see the details, and not just the summary, I do a pretty good job of observing my dogs to figure out what they want and then make sure they get it in ways that work for both of us before problems have a chance to get started. This is what training looks like for me, most of the time; it is far less work, much less stressful for both me and my dogs, and is fast and sustainable.
I sincerely wish I had learned why behavior happens before the audacious insanity of thinking I had the right to just come along and change it. When training clients and students reach out to me, they often want to know how to change a dog's behavior by stopping it. When I teach them why the behavior is happening, they have the tools to figure out how to change the dog's environment so that the dog's choice to change is his own.
Looking for Happy
And now, let's do this differently. The video below with Tucker shows a lot of fear-based behaviors, with a few brief "happys" in there too. I posted this to my FB page and simply asked: "What do you see"? The Incredible Ellie's words are below. I felt humbled by all that she saw, and went back through the video in slow-motion for myself as my learning opportunity.
Ellie
0:01 Initial approach with curved path, slight skip with front leg, head nod down, soft ears, fast trot = welcomed, familiar visitor greeting behavior. Lower arousal/ less anxiety
0:04 Tucked behind you with a c-shaped body (interesting position choice, not sure if a pattern or more comfortable for the dog than being in front of you), allows touch with soft ears and rests body against your legs, body slightly tense = sociable, but slightly uneasy. Lower arousal/ less anxiety
0:09 When you place your arm over the dog's back and lean down to pet the dog with your other hand, the dog leans slightly away from you to create distance.
Note that you are angled slightly behind and away from him, so when you bend down and touch him, your face is not in front of his.
The dog leans back in when you stand up again, but faces his head away from you. Slight freeze and whale eye when you touch his front leg, but he does not lean away from you to create space. Dog turns muzzle toward hand at medium pace and slightly freezes again with whale eye = dog has a small increased fear/arousal response to your head near his head, and having his leg handled. Higher increase in fear/arousal with your arm over his shoulder, and you leaning over near his face.
O.14 Once you release his leg, he backs up behind you to create space and shakes off. = his response to increased fear/arousal is to create space and release energy via shake-off. Note: This is a skill that dogs can be taught.
0.19 He chooses to stay near you and smells your pocket, but is avoidant of eye contact = sniffing may be a displacement behavior, but more likely you have treats in your pocket (nope, no treats, you had it right). -You lean down again to put your face in front of his and reach your arm over his back. The dog looks away and leans away slightly, and tenses his body. Closes mouth. = Dog is asking for space in a subtle way.
Cindy's Training Tip: If I had heeded his request for space, he might not have experienced the need to shout at me, which is what his chin bump is, in the next portion of this video.
0.22 You proceed to place your other hand on the dog's chest. Dog whips muzzle toward second hand with slight whale-eye and moves front feet away. You listen to his request and remove your hands and stand up. = Dog is uncomfortable with being touched with one arm over his back and with both hands. Great that he did not bite, but his fast muzzle motion toward your hand is concerning. Note: This was my mistake, and because I know what that behavior means and in what context it happened, I will do my best not to put him in a situation where he is triggered like this again. Higher arousal/ increased anxiety
0.24 Dog chooses to end the interaction by leaving through the door. = excellent choice for a nervous dog to create space rather than bite. Indeed. When Tucker first came to me from the rescue, he did not know how to advocate for himself like this and would instead show high-anxiety behaviors like barking, growling, and charging towards what worried him.
This is the full session with Tucker in the stall:
But, Let's Be Practical.....
There are lots of times when a label, a summary of behavior, is all that is needed, as long as the person you are sharing information with understands what you mean when you say it: Don't assume!
When I use labels in things I write, or when I am working with a client, I do my best to define what this label means to me in the current context only. When clients use labels, I ask them to "tell me what that looks like". This helps, but if the person does not know how to observe and define tiny pieces of behavior, such as Ellie has done for us here, that can be very difficult for them to do.
In Summary
This is a long and complicated post! I hope you are intrigued by what we have presented to you here. Be patient with yourself as you dig in to learn more about what your dog is trying to convey to you.
I welcome your questions or comments. To learn more about this, please take advantage of my other educational resources:
My YouTube channel is a wonderful resource.
This is a link to the homepage of my online LGD training course series
This is the link to my short, free online LGD course:
And finally, I have saved the best for last. This online LGD training course is exceptional: https://www.livestockguardiandogcourses.com/courses/livestockguardiandogs
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